After a 10 year marriage, followed by two years of separation, Charlotte and David came to mediation having, 6 months previously, been through a prolonged, bitter and expensive court battle to resolve their financial dispute. They had two children, Ben, 6, and Jack, 10 who lived with Charlotte and her new partner. David’s contact with the children had broken down during the conflicted court process when communication became very difficult and on coming to mediation he had not seen Charlotte or the children for four months.

Charlotte and David came to mediation to discuss re-building contact. At the first session they both expressed concern about the breakdown in contact and the impact that their own difficulties had had on Ben and Jack. Financial battles had led to a breakdown in trust and ongoing conflict and hurt were evident, but common hopes for the children gave a strong foundation for Charlotte, David and the Mediator to work from.

First steps in rebuilding contact were agreed, along with a decision to try out the arrangements for 6 weeks and then to return to discuss next steps. Both Charlotte and David felt that improving their communication was key to finding a positive way forward for the boys and some initial decisions were also made about what information needed to be shared and how misunderstandings could be avoided. The mediator gave Charlotte and David a parenting plan to help them prepare for the next session and wrote to them after the session summarising their initial decisions.

At the following session Charlotte and David agreed that they wished to increase the frequency and duration of the children’s contact with David. Their mediator helped them to explore a number of options for contact arrangements, taking into account their working patterns, the children’s various weekly activities and the fact that David sometimes had to work at weekends. Charlotte and David agreed a contact plan giving them both some time with Ben and Jack during the school week and at weekends. A detailed parenting plan was also developed, focusing on Charlotte and David’s key concerns, including communication and the arrangements for school holidays, birthdays and Christmas. After the session the Mediator sent them a Statement of Outcome which detailed their joint decisions and parenting plan.

Charlotte and David were surprised that they had been able to agree plans for the children in only two sessions and felt they had particularly benefitted from the step-by-step approach, enabling them to try out their initial decisions before agreeing final arrangements. They were also pleased that the mediator had helped them to stay focused on Ben and Jack, as both had been worried that their differences would hinder them being able to move forward.

Jane (41) and Chris (43) had been married for 12 years. They have three children aged 3, 7 and 10. Jane had a career as an IT consultant but has not worked since having her first child. Chris has been a Police Officer for 18 years. Their solicitor suggested mediation as a way to avoid expensive and lengthy court proceedings.

Jane was very anxious to remain in the family home with the children. Chris was concerned that this was not affordable and would not leave sufficient funds to enable him to find suitable alternative accommodation. They have a small savings pot and Chris had a large Police pension fund.

On starting mediation they both expressed an interest in obtaining a fair and amicable outcome both in terms of finances and children issues. Chris was particularly concerned about the impact their separation would have on the children and his ongoing relationship with them.

The mediator spent the first session gathering financial information to build up a picture of the couples’s finances. There were also some initial discussions about the children and when and how they should be told of their parents’ separation. It was agreed that a” family conference” should be arranged with both parents and the three children to discuss the imminent changes to the family dynamics.

The second and third sessions were spent discussing Jane and Chris’s priorities and how these could best be met. There was also some feedback from the children about the concerns that they had. This enabled Jane and Chris to engage in more detailed decisions about where the children should live after their parents divorce. During these discussions, it became apparent that whist they both wanted certain things, these were not necessarily in conflict. Different options and ideas were discussed and two workable compromises were suggested.

The mediator prepared a spread sheet setting out their finances and an Option Document briefly summarizing the options under consideration. Jane and Chris discussed these with their respective solicitors and came to the forth mediation session with some feedback from their solicitors. The mediator spent some time with each client separately to discuss areas where compromise might be made as a result of which both parties felt that a middle ground could be found.

A successful outcome was found within two months which both parties felt was fair and reasonable. They both agreed that their co-parenting relationship had set off on a better footing than if they had had to each deal with their respective solicitors to fight out a settlement.

Sarah and Tom were not married and had lived together for 14 years. They had two children aged 11 and 13 years. Both agreed that the relationship was over and that staying together was making both themselves and the children unhappy. Sarah and Tom had both seen solicitors but were concerned that they could not afford their fees but had also not been able to discuss matters themselves without arguing. Tom owned the family home and Sarah wanted to leave with the children but did not think she could afford to do so. Tom thought he would have to sell the family home but was concerned that there would not be enough money for them both to be able to afford to live separately.

At their Initial Information Meeting, which they chose to attend together, they discussed their situation with the mediator. During the following sessions their Mediator helped them to discuss the options which might be workable for them and gave them information to enable them to find out whether they were eligible for any benefits which might increase income and possibly help with rent on another property. After 3 sessions which took place over a period of 2 months, and detailed consideration of income and expenditure, agreements were reached whereby Tom gave Sarah a sum of money which he borrowed on his mortgage. This money enabled Sarah to pay the deposit and removal costs for moving into a rented home. She also could afford to pay for some new furniture and a car. The children were able to see both parents regularly as they would be living near to each other and a regular contact schedule was agreed.

Both Sarah and Tom were surprised at the level of practical help and information that was given to them in mediation. They both felt that had they dealt solely through separate solicitors, matters would have become more hostile and their relationship would have become more difficult. As it was, they both felt that their relationship as parents could now continue quite amicably but both agreed that if, in the future, any difficulties arose between them which they felt they could not sort out themselves, they would not hesitate to return to mediation. Both were also pleased that, by comparison with the level of solicitor’s legal fees which they had both been quoted, a considerable saving had been made, enabling each of them to move on more comfortably.